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Dr. J’s Xmas Viewing List

Hey, Y’all,

The holiday season is upon us, and if you’re like me, that means one thing: movie and TV marathon! I thought I’d share with you my typical December rotation. Unfortunately, I don’t really know any television shows or movies that deal with Hanukah or Kwanza outside of a couple episodes of Community and Futurama, so feel free to share your own listsin the comments below.

 So, without further ado, here be the list (in no particular order):


  1. The Garfield Christmas Special
  2. Opus and Bill: A Wish for Wings that Work
  3. Community: “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas”
  4. Futurama: “Xmas Story”
  5. Futurama: “A Tale of Two Santas”
  6. Doctor Who: “The Christmas Invasion”
  7. Doctor Who: “Voyage of the Damned”
  8. Blackadder: “Blackadder’s Christmas Carol”
  9. Mystery Science Theater 3000: “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”
  10. Mystery Science Theater 3000: “Santa Claus”


  1. A Christmas Story
  2. Scrooged
  3. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
  4. Muppet Christmas Carol


  1. Rifftrax Christmas Shorts-Stravaganza!
  2. Rifftrax: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny
  3. Rifftrax: The Star Wars Holiday Special

And there you have it. No matter what you celebrate, I hope y’all have a great December!

Dr. J’s Guide to Surviving the Crud

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I’ve had a sinus infection for something like six weeks now. Finally starting to get over it (fourth round of antibiotics for the win!), so I thought I’d do y’all a solid and give you some good tips on surviving the crud:

1. Drink lots of water. Like, a lot a lot. If you can somehow redirect a river into your mouth, do it.

2. Avoid caffeine and alcohol since they both dry you out (although hot toddies are allowed unless….)

3. No alcohol if you’re taking antibiotics. Consider other alternatives such as pot or cocaine. The latter ought to clear up your sinuses if you’ve got a bacterial infection up in there.

4. Get lots of rest. Stake yourself a place in your favorite chair and only move when it’s absolutely necessary. Netflix binging is acceptable in this sort of situation.

5. Make sure to eat. Avoid sugar, as it’s an inflammatory. Soup is good food, especially chicken soup. If you’re like me and have food allergies, you might have some trouble finding canned and easy-to-fix food. If that’s the case, find what you can and, if possible, guilt trip your friends into making you stuff. Or your spouse, if you have one.

6. Consider marrying the friend who makes you food then you don’t have to guilt trip them when it happens again.

7. Take hot showers. The steam and heat will feel great. If you’ve got a membership to the Y or some other health club type place, use a steam room. If you’ve got a rich friend with a steam room, consider guilt tripping them into letting you use it. Also consider marrying them.

8. Stay away from social media. Nobody likes to hear your whining, and your fever/antibiotic-induced loopiness will likely come back to haunt you.

9. Play video games if you can, especially ultra-violent ones. Pretend you’re killing viruses. Viruses are telepathic and they’ll get the hint.

10. Don’t disappear for weeks at a time. That will prompt your friends to say, “You’re alive!” when you return, and nobody wants that.

11. Once you’ve recovered, get plenty of sunshine and eat at least two tablespoons of dirt per day for a good week. Build up that immune system!

And that’s it. Print this out and stick it on the fridge so you’re prepared the next time you get the crud. Trust me, I’m a doctor.

Happy Turkey Day!


Hey, Y’all,

Bosley, here. Dr. J’s down again with a sinus infection (or he’s still got the same one–I don’t know. If you ask me, he’s milking this), so he won’t be posting anything new this week. He wanted me to wish y’all a happy Turkey Day, if you celebrate. If you don’t, he and I both wish you a great day with friends, family, and good food.

Peace out, fam,


Meet the Crew

Hey, Y’all,

Sorry I haven’t been around lately. I had a sinus infection that wouldn’t quit, and that made things like writing and living kinda difficult. But I’m back, baby, so let’s keep this trainwreck a-rollin’.

If you know me, then you know that it’s just a matter of time before this becomes a puppet show. I figure I should get ahead of that and introduce you to the crew that makes this blog possible.



This handsome fellow and I have been friends since I was one years old. Bosley’s the chief whip-cracker around here and is in charge of making sure I actually do my work (You wouldn’t believe how much yelling he’s done at me the last couple weeks!). Bosley’s also my agent and press manager, so sometimes he answers the emails I don’t wanna deal with.


20180418_123932192_iOSBosley takes care of the creative writing side of things, but Bandit handles the academic stuff. He’s the one who proofreads my syllabi and lesson plans, and he keeps me from rambling too much when I’m lecturing–not an easy job! You probably won’t see too much of Bandit here, since I got him from a Happy Meal, and I don’t want to get sued by McDonald’s. Bosley’s 38-years-old, so I think he’s okay.

Dr. J


And, of course, there’s me, your friendly neighborhood Dr. J. Not the best picture, I know, but I’m not the most photogenic.

I don’t work as hard as the other two, so I thought it was only fitting I came last in the list.

So, that’ll do it for this week. Next week: something more serious. Or not. You never can tell, can you?

Photo Credits

Bosley. Picture taken by Joshua Begley.

Bandit. Picture taken by Joshua Begley.

Dean Winchester. How to Dress Like Sam and Dean Winchester